Living Arrangements
It is important to agree on arrangements which are centred around the best interests of the child. With the obvious prioritisation of the children’s safety, it is usually in the best interests of a child to spend time with both of their parents. There are no set rules about what the arrangements for children should be; it is up to you and your child’s other parent to make an arrangement that works for your child. You should always keep your child’s needs at the heart of your decision making.
Every family situation is unique. Some opt for an equally shared arrangement, where the children sleep over at both parents’ homes on a regular basis. In other families the child will live with one parent all or most of the time, and make visits to see their other parent.
Contact
Some fathers see their children at contact centres. At a contact centre staff can facilitate supervised contact, which may include taking notes and providing reports if necessary. In some instances, it’s just a provision of the contact space. This is supported contact, which means that it may be one large room with staff in the room and no further analysis. Staff at contact centres can also assist with handovers so the parents do not have any direct contact with each other.
In the event of any safeguarding issues the mother, Primary carer or person with parental responsibility can got to court and ask for an order to prevent the father from seeing the child.
The courts will only remove a father’s rights where there is an exceptional situation and an order needed to protect the child. In such circumstances a court may also remove the father’s parental responsibility which would result in the father losing all his rights over the child.
What if we cannot agree child arrangements?
If you are unable to agree arrangements for children with the other parent, then it may be necessary to seek legal assistance or advice. This can either be from a solicitor specialising in family law or from other sources of information. Worst case Scenario, you may end up in family court, you will have to try reaching an agreement through mediation in the first instance.
What to do if contact has been stopped after an order has been put in place?
If your ex-partner has stopped your child or children from having contact with you then there are a few options:
- The first thing to do is to calmly and respectfully, contact your ex-partner in writing (text, email or letter) and state in as few words as possible:
- The current situation, for example. "I was really hoping to see the children this weekend but you have told me that is not possible"
- Your understanding of what should be happening, i.e. "To my knowledge, we agreed that I would be…".
- Ask an open question for an explanation, i.e. "Please can you explain what has happened and why contact has not gone ahead?"
- State the next steps with a timeline, i,e, "I hope we can resolve this amicably and that you reply shortly. I will contact a Mediator so that we can make sure that this doesn't happen again."
This should help you resolve the matter before considering going back to court.